


I Should Tell You

by fineh



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: F/F, jetra if you squint, post 4.14
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 03:08:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14155341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fineh/pseuds/fineh
Summary: “It’s not weird. It’s only weird if we have feelings for each other.”Petra rounds on her, eyes wide, hissing. “I already told you--” Looking around, she tries to see who might have overheard. Like J.R. could possibly be standing in the next aisle listening to everything. It’s just them and some teenager with headphones staring at a box of cookies. When did they get to the snack aisle?In which Petra is kidnapped a third time, this time to Target.





	I Should Tell You

**Author's Note:**

> This is mainly because Yael and Gina can't stop playing shit gay. I don't know who I ship at this point.

“This ridiculous. You do not have to do this.” Hurrying after a very determined Jane, Petra was regretting wearing heels. Knowing how seriously Jane took her trips to Target she really should have known better.

Sneaking away she left Jane by arts and crafts. She'd bitten her tongue and toughed it out these past thirty minutes but in her current state, she wouldn't last another thirty. Really, she should be used to wearing heels, but it’d been a long day today. Trying to organize parties, fixing room mishaps because some people couldn’t be anything other than incompetent. On top of all that she still hadn’t found a replacement for Krishna.

All she’d wanted was to drop the girls off at Rafael’s then tell him how much his advice had sucked, in person. Yes, she had gotten the girl, but she needed him to know it wasn't because of him. Lest he goes bragging to Jane. 

Following some signs, she finds the shoe section. Yanking one shoe off her foot, then the other Petra ignores the dirty look a haggard-looking mom gives her. Petra can't be bothered to muster up a dirty look of her own. She has to get back to Jane before she puts half the store in their cart. 

Jane, who she hadn’t expected to be at Rafael’s. She should have. They were dating, as Rafael had made a point to mention every thirty seconds. But since the only time she saw them together was at brunch or the Villanueva's she hadn’t been expecting to see Jane. And it wasn’t that she didn’t like Jane. She did. But Ellie lost another tooth earlier today and Jane managed to overhear her excited retelling of how it'd fallen out when she'd bitten a carrot. Immediately, Jane had gotten the look, the same look she'd gotten before she'd led Petra on a wild chase through the kid's play area. The same look that had resulted in Petra tackling her.

This time, Jane had dragged Petra into her car and driven them to the closest Target.

Petra hadn’t even been able to tell Rafael off.

Scoping the section quickly she settled for a pair of knock-off Uggs that didn't clash too horribly with her outfit. She was Petra Solano after all. Pulling the shoes off the hook, Petra snapped the black elastic binding them together, shoving the price tag in her pocket.

“Ma’am.” An employee in an unflattering red shirt approached her.

“I’m going to pay for it.” She didn’t steal things. Not anymore. When she’d first come to the States she’d been forced to. Pretending to buy new shoes then leaving her old tattered pair in the box. Or pretending to try on clothes and then leaving with the new ones on and her old outfit in the fitting room. Never going to the same store twice in case she was caught and deported.

Bending down she swiped her heels from the floor. They were Walter Steiger’s for chrissake. Petra didn’t _need_ to steal anything.

“But--”

“I said,” lowering her voice she stepped closer, ignoring his squeak of fear, “I am going to pay.”

Turning, she walked back to where she’d left Jane, savoring the lightness of her feet. Jane’s indecisiveness almost guaranteed she would still be there. Sure enough, there she was, holding fabrics next to each other, a small crease between her eyebrows. Seemingly making her decision, Jane tossed one into the cart before hanging the other back up.

“There you are!” Jane’s excitement was palpable, she clapped her hands together in a gesture Rafael might deem cute. “Let’s go.” She barely gave Petra enough time to toss her heels into the cart before they were off again. Looking for something Jane hadn’t specified but was absolutely necessary.

“Jane.” Petra sighs for the umpteenth time, “the girls don’t need this. It’s not the end of the word. Mateo got to see the tooth fairy, they didn’t. Plus,” Petra tugs uncomfortably on an earring. “I kind of ruined it for them.”

Jane slows for a second, “First, no, you didn’t.” Jane turns the corner sharply, narrowly missing another customer. “I’m so sorry!” She apologizes profusely, and Petra rolls her eyes before taking control of the cart, maneuvering around the guy before Jane starts kissing his feet.

Nudging Petra aside Jane catches up, resuming her pace. “Second, your girls ruined it for Mateo. Third, since you did it for Mateo, I want to do the same for your girls.”

“Jane.” Petra puts a hand on the cart, dragging it to a complete stop. “Look at me.” When she doesn’t Petra turns her around. For the first time since they entered the store, Jane finally takes a step back from her frantic shopping. Blinking, she looks up at Petra then down at Petra’s hands on her shoulders. “I didn’t do it because I expected anything. I did it because I wanted to.”

It had been a mix of wanting to fix something that was mostly her fault and needing to do something to cheer Jane up. The dark cloud that had followed Rafael and Petra for almost a year had begun to set up shop over the Villanueva household and it was something Petra could not allow.

“I know that.” Jane melts, her brown eyes understanding. “But I also think it’s unfair only Mateo got to experience the magic.”

“Jane, the girls will be fine. This…” Petra waves at the shopping cart piled high with more things than Petra had ever thought possible, “is not necessary. Besides, with everything going on with your mom. I don’t want you to waste your time when there’s something more pressing.”

“Don’t you get it Petra? I _need_ this.” Petra sees Jane’s throat work furiously, she knows Jane is doing her best not to cry. “I need to do this Petra. I have to get my mind off the fact that my mom has cancer. That she could _die._ ”

Petra tries not flinch. She fails. Those words, they don’t sound right. Not out of Jane’s mouth.

“She is not--”

“Don’t.” Jane shrugs out of her grasp, wiping furiously at her cheeks. “We both know it’s possible.” Petra doesn’t know what to do with the sudden role reversal. It’s true ever since Michael’s death Jane has become more jaded, more anxious. Up until now, Petra had never seen her so...broken, not even during their brunches. The one time a week they allowed themselves to be honest with each other.

“Jane. I am not going to lie to you. She could die.” Jane inhales sharply, shock clear in her eyes. Petra regrets saying it, but Jane opened this door and it’s Petra’s job to close it. To lock it behind them and make sure the thought never bothers Jane again. “She could also survive. She will survive. Rafael did. Tons of other people do. If there’s anyone that’s going to push through this, it’s Xo.”

Xiomara was the mother Magda never had the balls to be. Magda had gotten stuck on the fact she’d never wanted Petra. Or Anezka. Xiomara had embraced it. With an unsupportive Rogelio and an extremely religious Alba, Xiomara had done what she felt was right. Not once had she looked back.

“Xo will beat this.” Jane nods shakily. “I’m willing to bet the Marbella.” Scoffing softly but without any scorn, Jane lets out a deep breath.

Xiomara had to make it. It just wouldn't be fair if she didn't. 

“You’re right.”

It’s Petra’s turn to scoff, “Of course I’m right. Now,” Petra pulls a tissue out of her purse, handing it to Jane. “I have some excellent news. News that needs to be delivered in person. I called the publisher. I let them know the charges against me have been dropped.”

“And?!”

"The book is back on. J.R. just needs to send proof to the publisher. After that, we can resume.”

“Oh my god!” Ignoring all the looks they’re getting Petra accepts the hug Jane gives her. It’s nice to get back to normal. Yes, she’d been unsympathetic about her book with Jane. At that moment it hadn’t seen very important. She’d been framed, and her arrest had shaken her. If there was one place Petra hated with every fiber of her being it was jail. The police didn’t bother hiding their disdain for her, and she knew better than to show hers.

But it was over now. Her book is back. Her life is back.

“So…” Done trying to squeeze the life out of her, Jane pulls back, a knowing smile on her face.

“No. No, no, no.” Petra steps away from her. She knows that tone of voice. It’s the one that’s about to ask a million questions about things Petra doesn’t want to talk about. “We’re no--I’m not talking about this with you.”

Petra marches down the shopping aisle to their abandoned shopping cart.

“Why not?”

“It’s weird!”

“It’s not weird. It’s only weird if we have feelings for each other.”

Petra rounds on her, eyes wide, hissing. “I already told you--” Looking around, she tries to see who might have overheard. Like J.R. could possibly be standing in the next aisle listening to everything. It’s just them and some teenager with headphones staring at a box of cookies. When did they get to the snack aisle?

It wouldn’t matter if J.R. was there. They’d already talked everything out. Petra’s determined to make this relationship work. She wants it to work so bad.

“Ew. I know, which is rude by the way.” Petra doesn’t know why Jane is still stuck on that. It shouldn’t matter whether Petra finds her attractive. “We’re friends. We should be able to talk about it. I want to talk about it.”

“Why?”

“What?” Jane blinks, not understanding the question.

Petra crosses her arms over her chest, her distrustful nature winning. “Why do you want to talk about it? We don’t talk about our relationships. We never have. Why now?”

“Because I’ve never seen you like this Petra. In like with someone. You’re happy. I’m not sure I've ever seen you completely happy. Even when you were with Rafael, you agonized--that was partly my fault and I'm sorry--but it's different with J.R. You giggled, Petra."

"I giggle."

"No Petra, you don't. So of course, I want to talk about it. Even if you think it’s weird.”

“It is!” Petra insists, walking away again. She never, ever, imagined her love life could be this completely tangled mess of people and names. Of course, she wanted to talk about J.R. She never wanted to stop talking about J.R. But talking about it with Jane was… "Weird.”

“You talked to Rafael and you’re telling me that wasn’t weird? He’s your ex-husband!”

She had talked to Rafael and all she got was bad advice, which she was going to get him back for. She was making the schedule tomorrow. Guess who was working the graveyard shift for the next week? Smirking to herself, Petra saw Jane was still talking rapidly, complete with hand motions.

“...you’ve asked me for my advice before. We’re friends. I would say best friends but I’m afraid Lina might kill you.”

Petra stopped walking. Jane was right. They were best friends. At some point, Petra moved Jane from the ‘only friend' category to best friend.

“You want to know why it’s weird?” She hadn’t been planning on telling her. Part of it was it no longer mattered. The other part was even after all these years she was still wary of sharing. Of giving people ammunition they could use against her, and boy would this be some ammo.

“Yes! I’m tired of pretending we’re not friends. We’re past two percent, Petra. You dressed up as the tooth fairy for my son. You made me borscht. I haven’t forgotten about the house. Don’t you think we’re past pretending we don’t like each other? I’m not trying to be weird, Petra. I promise you. I would care equally as much if J.R. was a guy.”

Petra believes Jane, so she tamps down on the part of herself that is warning her against saying it. Once she says it, she can’t take it back.

“I used to have a crush on you.” Whatever Jane was expecting her to say, it wasn’t that. Her mouth falls open, no words coming out. Folding and unfolding her arms, Jane finally settles on clutching her purse strap. This is the first time Petra’s ever seen Jane speechless and it’s priceless. “That’s why I find it weird. Of course, I didn’t realize it until recently.”

This was ridiculous, talking about her feelings in the middle of Target with a dumbstruck Jane. But somehow, it was normal.

“When we first met, J.R. asked me if I was in love with you. I laughed it off of course because, well, we've never really liked each other, you and I." A strangled noise escaped Jane's throat which Petra takes as agreement. "But as my feelings for J.R. developed I started thinking about the last time I felt like that. And it was with you.” Her feelings for J.R. are different, stronger, but there’s still that underlying burn that she can never forget. The one that reminds her of Jane.

“It’s not a surprise I didn’t realize it at the time. Everything was such a mess. I was pregnant, you were dealing with Michael and Rafael while trying to raise Mateo. We were close then, it was before my mother tried to throw me in jail. I remember feeling something I couldn’t quite place. Eventually, I wrote them off as platonic feelings. Which I have now discovered was completely wrong.”

Having feelings for a girl had never been an option. She'd been raised as a man-eater. Constantly having Magda telling her to watch her weight, to sit up straight, to behave. Petra had been groomed from the start, the goal had always been to marry a rich man. So of course, those feelings for Jane had come and gone and she’d never known what they were.

"Oh," Jane says quietly, her eyes soft as they stare up at her. Petra can see the gears turning but everything else about Jane is unreadable. Then Jane snaps out of it, her mouth quirking a little and Petra braces herself. “So, it was a date.”

“What?” She has no idea what Jane’s talking about and if it’s any reason for her to be smiling.

“You asked me out to lunch once, after our first Thanksgiving. It was the first time you ever called me. And, I don’t know, something about your voice was different. It felt...different. I remember, when I hung up, I told my mom you asked me on a date.”

“Oh,” Petra has no idea what to say. Jane remembering something as insignificant as that is significant. It feels like a big moment when it shouldn’t be. It’s almost like she’s in her office again, her heart racing. Sweaty palms gripping her phone as it rang, praying Jane wouldn’t pick up but at the same time hoping she would. “I guess it was. But, if I remember correctly, I stood you up.”

Jane is still smiling at her and it’s unnerving. Clearing her throat, Petra breaks eye contact, fiddling with the safety straps on the cart. "Anyways, neither of us knew. It was a long time ago and one-sided and it doesn't matter. It's been so long, Jane." It's times like these where Petra realizes just how long they've been in each other's lives. Both as enemies, and as friends. “Since then there’s been Chuck, Rafael, and a couple of people who were just stress release.”

“And now you have J.R.”

Petra can’t contain the smile that’s threatening to take over, so she doesn’t even bother. It’s been hard to stop thinking about the night J.R. interrupted her wallowing. It had been different. Sweet, it’d been so long since Petra had sweet. There was no desperation. No trying to get J.R. into her bed as fast as possible before she changed her mind or called Petra’s bluff. “Now I have J.R.”

“I’m so happy for you. Really, you deserve it.” Jane steps forward then hesitates, rolling her eyes Petra pulls her into a quick side hug before letting her go.

“Told you it was going to be weird.”

“That’s a weird thing to be smug about Petra.”

“I know.” Petra waits for her to stop chuckling. “Jane.”

“Yes, Petra.”

"I don't want to move backward." Their relationship was like a rollercoaster and hopefully, they were at the end. The part where they got off and enjoyed some cotton candy.

"Me either," Jane says honestly. "I don't think we will. I refuse."

Petra laughs, and all her doubts disappear. Eventually, it will stop being weird and she’ll be able to talk to her ex-crush who she didn’t even know was a crush about her current crush who was more than a crush.

“Thank you, Jane.” Jane starts to push their cart, but Petra stops her. “One more thing.”

“Anything.”’

“Don’t tell Rafael.” It’s easy to see how uneasy her request makes Jane.

“Petra…”

“It’s not that I’m embarrassed or anything. But you remember how he acted when he thought I was trying to ask you out. We both know he has a fragile ego. I’d prefer he didn’t know.”

Jane chews on her lip, and Petra remembers how many times her black and white view of the world has driven a wedge between them. So, she keeps talking.

“It’s not relevant. I no longer like you. You never liked me. It’s not a big deal.”

A strange look passes over Jane’s face before being chased away by a smile.

“Of course. Your secret is safe with me.”

Petra lets out a breath she hadn’t even known she was holding. “Thank you.”

Jane just smiles at her before pushing the cart. Looking down Petra tries to figure out exactly it is they’re buying.

“What look are we going for?”

“I--I have no idea. Yet, somehow I think we’re gonna need more stuff if we’re gonna convince your girls.”

“You’re right.” It was going to take a theatrical performance that only Jane could give to convince her girls the tooth fairy was real. “This also means we can force Rafael to dress up as Santa Claus at Christmas, right?”

Jane grins and it’s something so diabolical she almost feels bad for planting the idea in Jane’s head. “It totally does.”

Almost.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, it works. Jane leaves Ellie an appropriate amount of money. Petra tackles her, to sell the lie, of course. And Rafael struggles to stay awake at brunch on Saturday. But Rogelio has dibs on Santa Claus because "Rafael could never be a believable Santa."
> 
> find me here on [tumblr](http://finehs.tumblr.com)


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